Message to the UK: Quick! Ban all crossbows – and knives – and sticks…and stones, too.

The UK has banned or made nearly impossible to own just about any kind of firearm, supposedly on the grounds that firearms make citizens less safe.

Well, those wacky and resourceful UK Bandits have found a way around not having firearms—now they’re using crossbows and knives. Obviously, those need to be outlawed as well. Next, anything hard that could be used to club or poke someone will need to be outlawed. Eventually marshmallows will be outlawed, since they can be used offensively as effective suffocation weapons.

How long do you think it will take the UK to start wondering: “Hey, maybe banning the weapon is not getting at the real source of the problem here?”

Given their track record, I don’t give them very good odds on figuring this out. They’ll probably be banning marshmallows and plastic wiffle ball bats first.

“Face to face with the crossbow raiders: Thugs burst into post office and threaten shopkeeper with weapon

Snarling and brandishing a crossbow, two thugs burst into a post office and thrust the weapon in the face of a terrified sub-postmaster.

They were so brazen they didn’t even bother to wear masks, their faces contorted with aggression and captured clearly on CCTV.

As they approach the counter, one leans over and aims at the victim at point-blank range, while his accomplice, who was carrying a knife, appears to punch him.”

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